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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Town Adventures, Part 1: The Neglect

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
I am Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman with my Big-Ass Sword! After a week of adventure and a journey full of daring deeds, my companions and I had arrived at That Other Town, a place of great opportunity where we may spend our rewards on services and equipment to further bolster our strength in combat!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
I am Typical Bespectacled Mage! Having arrived at That Other Town the previous evening, I have had a very restful night at Obligatory Town Inn and am now ready for the day!

Taciturn Female Healer
I am Taciturn Female Healer, and it is time to remind everyone that I am still classed as a Barbarian! This beautiful morning, we are gathered for breakfast at Some Town Tavern, where we may also obtain Quests!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
We're not accepting Quests yet! We still need to convert our gold into things more useful in combat!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
I perceive I am missing a dear companion! I must admit that I expected a rant concerning the fact that our other Dungeon Raids had produced mostly gold and little by way of quality equipment.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace is still having her beauty sleep back at the Obligatory Town Inn.

***

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Morning, sleepyhead.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Morning. What's all this?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
It's the equipment we've bought during this morning's shopping.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I don't think our barkeep appreciates you turning our table into warehouse decoration.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Explain to me something...

Taciturn Female Healer
If I can~.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
What's all these? You've stacks and stacks of papers all around you and there's that sealed box over there.

Taciturn Female Healer
This is a Class Kit! It consists of lots of paperwork and basic equipment to Reclassify into a new class!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Our barkeep must think you're too cheap to rent your own office.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Are you going to Reclassify back into a Healer?

Taciturn Female Healer
No, I'm Reclassifying into a Thief!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Why a Thief? Why not a Healer or at least a class that has the ability to Heal?

Taciturn Female Healer
I need more Dagger skills and Stats in Dexterity and Agility.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
We still need a Healer!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Why did you suddenly decide to Reclassify yourself?

Taciturn Female Healer
I've already reached Level 102 as a Barbarian. It was the right time to gain specialty in another class.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Those Daggers we've looted from our first Dungeon influenced you to Reclassify as a Thief, didn't they?

Taciturn Female Healer
They sure did!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Now I wish we had looted some rare bandages.

***

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Having a Thief is not all that bad. They do learn Scout skills earlier than Archers, if I'm not mistaken. And they also learn Ambush.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
But they'll still have to Level in order to get those skills, am I right?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Uh, yes.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
So she's basically useless now!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Okay, enough about that. What new stuff did you get?

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Pleased am I to announce that I have acquired for myself a set of Steel Chainmail and a Steel Helm with which to better protect myself. I have also acquired a Steel Belt with which to gain the Set Bonuses by matching the Steel Set!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
A Steel Belt? Do you know how fashionably retarded a belt made of steel is? It doesn't even have an enchantment on it!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
The Steel Belt matches my other equipment of Steel in order to provide additional bonuses to my Physical Defense! However, I admit that a Steel Belt was what we could afford with the gold that we had.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Well, if you don't mind looking lame, I shan't complain about you tanking all the damage away from me. Anyway, didn't you get any new weapons?

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
My Big-Ass Sword has been my loyal arm and shall continue to be so!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
But you should increase your damage potential too! Beating your opponents is also a way to protect yourself and reduce the damage you receive!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
That's what I've been trying to tell him the whole morning! He just won't listen!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
I had not considered that! Perhaps there is wisdom in seeking a stronger replacement for my weapon!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
He listens to you!?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
What can I say? It's a gift.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
So, what've you got?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
I bought myself a pair of Copper Glasses. Increased Accuracy will allow me to score more Critical Hits.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Copper Glasses? Do you know how...

Typical Bespectacled Mage
... unfashionable it is? Yes, yes. But only the frame is copper. And no one is going to notice at a distance. Besides, it matches the copper of my new breastplate, giving me bonuses from the Copper Set.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
A Copper Breastplate? You're going to look really weird. What about Magic Defense?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
I bought myself a Silk Scarf for that.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
The Copper Glasses isn't going to be enough to make you look like a Mage, you know.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
The Rules doesn't forbid this setup.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Jeez, your fashion's so bad that no one's going to notice your Copper Glasses.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Why, thank you for approving.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I suppose you bought yourself something that looks silly too.

Taciturn Female Healer
I have bought for myself a pair of Leather Boots of Swiftness!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
That actually looks good.

Taciturn Female Healer
It lets me chase after my opponents!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
And what else did you get?

Taciturn Female Healer
That's all! I've already got the Charmed Dagger of Accuracy and the Keenly Charged Knife from our first Dungeon Raid.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Don't you wield an Axe?

Taciturn Female Healer
My Steel Battle Axe may do a little more damage compared to the combined stats of the Daggers, but the Daggers make up for it with additional Accuracy, which leads to more Critical Hits! Also, the Keenly Charged Knife does additional Lightning damage.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Well, with that Fur Leather Armor and Horned Helm you've always been wearing, and the Steel Battle Axe behind your back, you look more like a Barbarian than a Thief!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Okay, so what've you got for me?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Uh, you?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Yes, me!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
I knew we forgot something!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
What!? We're going shopping after this!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
It is with much regret that I admit that I have spent the last of our gold to replenish our supply of consumables!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
You what!?

***


Part 2: The Remedy

Adventures of Heroes Who Talk Too Much

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