Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Town Adventures, Part 2: The Remedy

Typical Bespectacled Mage
We'll just do a quick town Quest to earn gold to buy equipment for Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
You'd better!

Taciturn Female Healer
I've no objections to the opportunity to beat people up!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
I look forward to a heroic Quest and a grand battle!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I'm glad that everyone's so enthusiastic. This is a tavern, so start looking for something! Meanwhile, I'm doing brunch. Hand over some of the party funds so I can buy me something delicious!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
It is with much regret that I admit again that our party funds have been exhausted.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
What about your personal funds?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Nevermind that! You mean there's nothing left in our shared purse!?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
That's what Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman said.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
What am I going to eat!?

Taciturn Female Healer
I still have a quarter of a Pumpkin Pie left from breakfast!

***

Taciturn Female Healer
I've found a good Quest!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Let's do it immediately!

Taciturn Female Healer
The Quest is to weed the Very Ordinary Garden!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Let's look for a less boring Quest!

Taciturn Female Healer
It pays lots of gold!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Let's do it!

***

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
This Quest of clearing the weeds from the Very Ordinary Garden does seem to me to be a venture lacking in gallantry. Certainly there are Quests that are of more significance and of grander deeds where we may gain greater fame!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
A Quest is a quest. Besides, someone has to do it for the common good. Certainly there is some heroism in serving the people! Let us complete this Quest as soon as possible so we can look for some greater feat to perform!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
What you say is indeed true. Very well, we shall attempt this Quest to clear the weeds from the Very Ordinary Garden!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
How do you always convince him!?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
It's a gift.

***

Taciturn Female Healer
We've arrived at the Very Ordinary Garden!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Are you sure we've the right place?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
From the fact that there are dangerous-looking weeds walking around, I'd say we're at the right place.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Dangerous-looking weeds... are they too dangerous for us?

Taciturn Female Healer
I'm declaring Ambush Round!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
What level are those weeds?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
That Walking Weed is Level 78, a little beyond my Level.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
A little!? It's a lot for me! I'm behind the rest of you, remember?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
That's what you get for running all the time.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Well, who's fault is it?

That Walking Weed
Um, excuse me? You've Ambush Round, so... can we start the fight?

***

Taciturn Female Healer
I stab Walking Weed Loner. I run away. And I start drinking Healing Potions!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
That's entirely different from the little berserker that I've been adventuring with. Taciturn Female Healer is running and drinking Healing Potions?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
You've to remember that she just Reclassified herself as a Thief. Therefore she was at Level 1.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
'Was'?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
She was Level 1. Walking Weed Loner is, uh, Level 76. After that stab of hers, because of the Level difference, she gained quite a bit of Experience Points. That leads to a big jump in Level and higher Maximum Hit Points. She drank Healing Potions to quickly bring her Hit Points up to her new limit.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Oh, that makes sense. Wait, that means she'll catch up with us quickly, won't she?

That Walking Weed
Um, excuse me again, but I'm going to attack you now.

***

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
It is proper that a leader's place should be at the vanguard, facing the bulk of the opposing force! Glorious indeed shall be the battle against superior foes!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Will you stop talking to yourself and get That Walking Weed away from me!?

***

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Thus have we reached the end of the Round that we may plan our fight against the opposing vegetation!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
This fight is going against us. Their Levels are a little too high and we're not doing enough damage, especially since they've Regeneration!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Wait, you mean that they'll recover from what little damage I did to them earlier?

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Reluctant am I to admit that the tide of battle do not favor us. However, it is in consideration for situations such as this that I had recruited Taciturn Female Healer that she may clear our path to victory!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Need I remind you that Taciturn Female Healer had just Reclassified herself as a Thief and is rather short on Level and Stats?

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
I do perceive that we have indeed a difficulty!

***

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
I shall inquire of Typical Bespectacled Mage concerning the plans of our opponents that he has discovered with the Listen Spell that he has cast.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Their plan is to slowly advance on us like a closing net. There's enough of them to form a wall.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
They're slower than us. I can snipe at them and pull back. So can you.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
That would work until we run out of room to run. We're not doing enough damage to stop them. If we concentrate our attacks, maybe we'll be able to bring two or three of them down.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
We can run around them when they corner us.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
We'll likely take a few hits. They'll slowly wear us down and cost us a fair amount of Healing Potions.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Cost us Healing Potions!? That will eat into my shopping budget, I mean, our profits!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Hey, this Quest was your find! Not only are our opponents of higher Level, you don't have the Stats to beat them!

Taciturn Female Healer
Indeed, and we're getting a lot of Experience Points from the fight!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
At the cost of our profits!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
If we had a Healer, we could have our spikey-haired idiot tank permanently. We'd also not be wasting time chugging potions! We really need a Healer!

Taciturn Female Healer
I'm here!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
No, I mean a Healer who can Heal, someone who has a decent Heal Spell!

***

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Perhaps it's best we flee the battle and cut our losses.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
That would be the best. It's a shame about the time wasted on this Quest, though.

Taciturn Female Healer
It's not a waste! We've gained Experience Points!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Shut up, you! This is all your fault!

***

Typical Bespectacled Mage
They're not guarding the exit. We'll run around them, risk a few hits and leave the battlefield.

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
I hereby object to the plan!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Do you have a better plan?

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
It is not proper for us to leave before a Quest is done! We must strive courageously until we have secured victory!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Oh, I forgot about him... Listen, my dear friend. It's best that we run now that we may fight later. Staying will cost us resources that we cannot afford to waste. In addition to that, a few of us risk being sent Out by overwhelming damage.

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Our plan is still not right! Great warriors have always contended against greater odds and emerge victorious!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Let me try... Look here, fearless leader... we aren't running from battle. We're merely regrouping at a safer location to gain the advantage for later.

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
That does indeed make sense. Very well then, we shall move to strengthen ourselves for further battle!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Why does he always listen to you?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
It's a gift.

***


Part 1: The Neglect
Part 3: The Recruitment

Adventures of Heroes Who Talk Too Much

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