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Thursday, April 4, 2013

Town Adventures, Part 3: The Recruitment

Typical Bespectacled Mage
That was a disastrous fight! It's fortunate that no one's Out.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
At least we've earned Experience Points. I actually gained a Level!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
I too have gained a Level.

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Disappointed am I that I have been unable to gather sufficient Experience Points for a single Level.

Taciturn Female Healer
And I gained 22 Levels!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Such is the joy of having been Level 1.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
We need a Healer. One will save us gold spent on Healing Potions and can help Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman hold the front in a fight.

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Your suggestion does have merit. The services of a Healer shall support my leadership at the forefront during battle! We shall begin our search for a worthy ally to join our cause after our sojourn tonight at the inn!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
How do you keep getting him to listen to you!?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
It's a gift.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
It's a beautiful afternoon and it's time to start looking for a Healer to join our party!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
We had to start in the afternoon because someone could not wake up bright and early.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
What was that?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Nothing.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I understand that you'd like the pleasure of joining our esteemed party.

Snobbish Arrogant Healer
I deem your party worthy of my most excellent service.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Certainly you'll enlist for the privilege of basking in my great beauty.

Snobbish Arrogant Healer
It is most clear that your party shall benefit immensely from the healing services of a Healer as great as myself.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
I don't know if I can bear two people with that certain charming personality in the party.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace & Snobbish Arrogant Healer
What was that?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Nothing.

***

Shifty-Eyed Avaricious Healer
I demand 50% of all the loot!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
50%!? That's outrageous!

Shifty-Eyed Avaricious Healer
You'd never survive a fight without a Healer! 50% seems more than fair enough!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I'll have you know that we survive just fine! Show him!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Eh, uh, might I inquire as to the object that you wish me to present?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Your Healing Potions! All of them!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
You wish me to display my entire stock of Healing Potions?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Yes, all!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
This will indeed consume considerable time and effort, but I shall gladly do it for my fellow companion, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace!

Shifty-Eyed Avaricious Healer
... That's the 17th Case of Healing Potion he pulled out...

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
He has more. So you can see, we don't really need a Healer that badly. Next!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Are you sure you're a Healer? You don't look like one. You don't even have a decent Robe!

Ill-Equipped Healer
I'm a Healer. It's just that, well, my last party loaned me all the equipment and, uh...

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
We need to loan you equipment?

Ill-Equipped Healer
Yeah, that's it.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
That means we've to buy equipment for you! We're hiring a Healer to save gold in the first place!

Ill-Equipped Healer
Well... you've to spend gold to save gold...

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
That doesn't even make sense! Rejected! Next!

***

Not A Healer
Hi, I am Not A Healer-

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Rejected! Next!

***

Red-Shirted Healer
I am Red-Shirted Healer!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Rejected! Your Level is too low! Besides, your Red Shirt is so out of fashion. So boring, so clashing!

Red-Shirted Healer
But you've a Thief who is of an even lower Level that me! She's a Thief, right?

Taciturn Female Healer
Yes, I'm a Thief! I am polishing my Steel Battle Axe while wearing my Horned Helm!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
She may have a lower Level than you, but she's Reclassified, twice! It is twice, right?

Taciturn Female Healer
Yes, you're right!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
We are looking for someone with experience to match that of the party. Thus, I am going to have to reject you...

Red-Shirted Healer
I'll pay you to help me on this Quest that I have!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Accepted! Welcome to the party! Did I mention that you've a pretty Red Shirt? So bold, so glaring!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
So, uh... was our objective to hire a Healer or to be hired by a Healer?

***

Part 2: The Remedy
Part 4: The Graveyard

Adventures of Heroes Who Talk Too Much

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