Thursday, April 4, 2013

Town Adventures, Part 4: The Graveyard

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
On this very day, with my fellow companions, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace, Typical Bespectacled Mage and Taciturn Female Healer, I shall attempt a Quest to... Yes, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace! I perceived that you have waved your hand with a rapid motion!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
You forgot to mention our newest party member, the one with the Quest.

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Truly am I guilty of neglect! Permit me to begin the introduction again!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Meh, why not?

***

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
On this bright and beautiful day, I and my fellow companions, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace, Typical Bespectacled Mage and Taciturn Female Healer, along with our newest ally, Red-Shirted Healer, shall attempt a Quest to cleanse the Quiet Little Graveyard of its infestation of Skeletons!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Explain to me something...

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Yes, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Why are we removing Skeletons from of a Graveyard? I mean, don't Skeletons belong in a Graveyard?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
In case you hadn't noticed, the Skeletons are roaming around the Graveyard on their bony feet.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
So? Isn't that normal?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
I guess that's what one would expect to see in a Graveyard.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
It kind of doesn't feel right to attack people in their homes.

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
This is a Quest that we have excepted and thus, we must attempt it!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I know, but it doesn't make me feel any better. Look, they're having a picnic! What do Skeletons eat anyway?

Taciturn Female Healer
It's a worthy Quest, and we'll get lots of Experience Points, and we'll be paid lots of gold!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Gold? Then let's go interrupt a picnic!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Before we go charging into a possibly impossible battle, these Skeletons are around our Level, right?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Hmm... let's see... From what I can tell from here, yes, they are about our Level.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Oh good, so let's...

Typical Bespectacled Mage
But D-Rank Skeleton at the back there has Reclassified at least once and as such, has superior Stats.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
We'll just loose Taciturn Female Healer on that one.

Taciturn Female Healer
Oh, poo, D-Rank Skeleton is of lower Level than the other Skeletons and will give less Experience Points!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
What do you mean?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
She's right. The Experience Point awarded depends on Level, Class and Rank, not Stats. Because of D-Rank Skeleton's lower Level, the Experience awarded may be the same as that given by the other F-Rank Skeletons who are of higher Levels - I have to look up the Experience Point tables to be sure. On the other hand, D-Rank Skeleton would go after Cliched Bespectacled Swordsman or me since we're all F-Ranks and the two of us are of the highest Level in the party... Oh, wait. D-Rank Skeleton is female. You know who she'll go after.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
There are female Skeletons!?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Actually, all the Skeletons here are females.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Eek!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
This Quest does seem a little difficult... for me.

Taciturn Female Healer
It's easy! We'll fight and earn lots of Experience Points!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I've learned not to trust your judgement concerning how easy a fight is!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
This is a Quest that we have accepted and thus, we must attempt it!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Not that argument again. It'll be much worse if I'm Out!

Taciturn Female Healer
Along with lots of Experience Points, we'll earn the gold reward and score that Fancy Silk Hat that'll be thrown in as a bonus reward!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
A Fancy Silk Hat!? I think we should give this Quest a try!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
She has listened to you twice now, Taciturn Female Healer!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Explain to me something...

Typical Bespectacled Mage
If I may.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Why do we have a Graveyard? People don't really die. They just go Out if they've lost all their Hit Points!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
That's an interesting question. We do have people going away after a while but those are rare instances. They don't die - they Quit and they don't leave bodies behind to be buried. I suppose if you consider Graveyards to be alike Dungeons and Skeletons to be the denizens, it would make some sense.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
TL; DR!!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Now that was a waste of breath.

***

Red-Shirted Healer
Do they always talk so much?

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
It is but unusual on this day. The norm is that they banter during combat.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Explain to me something...

Typical Bespectacled Mage
If I may.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Where do Skeletons come from since no one dies and leaves her bones behind?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Hmm... that is a good question.

Lead Skeleton Lady
Actually, I was born a Skeleton.

D-Rank Skeleton
And I Reclassified as one, for the skills in Agility and Axes.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Okay, let's start the fight.

Red-Shirted Healer
Finally!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Let's declare Ambush Round!

Lead Skeleton Lady
You can't do that. We already know you're here. We even talked to you!

Red-Shirted Healer
You people were talking so much that we've lost the chance to declare an Ambush Round!

***

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Shall we begin the contest for victory?

Lead Skeleton Lady
All Skeletons, attack the... what's this?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Eek! I'm going to hang back here, ready to run...

Lead Skeleton Lady
A Red Shirt! All Skeletons, after Red-Shirted Healer!

Red-Shirted Healer
Not again!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Something's different here today.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Wow, it's a pleasant change for once that I can stand still and shoot!

Red-Shirted Healer
Will you people just help me!?

***

Red-Shirted Healer
I'm running low on Hit Points!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Just Heal yourself!

Red-Shirted Healer
Okay, Heal!

Lead Skeleton Lady
Caught you! Taste my blade!

Skeleton Lady Archer
And my arrow!

D-Rank Skeleton
I'll Power Attack with my Axe!

Red-Shirted Healer
Great Scarlets, I'm Out!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Okay, now I know that a Healer has to stop running to Heal herself.

***

Skeleton Lady Archer
Red-Shirted Healer is Out! What's next?

Lead Skeleton Lady
All Skeletons, after the enemy of all females!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
MUMMY~!!!

***

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Victory is ours! After a long battle, we have vanquished the Skeletons of Quiet Little Graveyard!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Should we have a silent moment for our lost Healer?

Red-Shirted Healer
Don't make it sound like I'm lost forever! I'm still here, I'm just Out.

Taciturn Female Healer
We've completed our Quest! Let's go collect the reward!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Oh right, let's go!

Red-Shirted Healer
What happened to my moment of silence?

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Let's see the reward item. Ooh, the Fancy Silk Hat is just gorgeous, mine, mine!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
But look at the Stats! It has horrible Physical Defense and the bonus Magic Defense isn't much!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
This purple beauty is a perfect fit too!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
The only good Stat on that hat is Charisma!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
And it's so soft and comfy...

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Taciturn Female Healer, talk some sense into her!

Taciturn Female Healer
... I got nothing...

***

Part 3: The Recruitment
Part 5: The Shopping

Adventures of Heroes Who Talk Too Much

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