Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
The luxury suite at the Obligatory Town Inn has a delightfully roomy bathroom with a large tub that is a beauty of porcelain. And once the tub is filled with warm water and covered with lots of bubbles, it becomes absolutely dreamy! Gentle music, from a smartphone, will set a peaceful mood, perfect for casting all the day's care out. With a glass of wine, the soothing scent of incense and the ambiance provided by soft-colored candlelight, a lady could relax in perfect bliss.
...It is just too bad that I can't afford the luxury suite.
Lady in the Luxurious Bath
Eeek! There's someone peeping outside!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Oh, snapped bubbles! Hmmm, that did not sound bad-
Heroic Person with Manly Voice
I shall charge outside to confront the interloper!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Soap suds, time to run! ... I think 'soap suds' sounded better as a minced oath.
Heroic Person with Manly Voice
I have spotted a suspicious shadow!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Run!
***
Seriously Cheating Player
You're a late today, again.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I had to get rid of a certain smell, the dangers of my profession. Certainly, you wouldn't want to spend the night in an enclosed room with someone that has a horrible fragrance.
Insignificant Fourth Player
Your beauty will banish any distracting odor!
Prince of Charming Cards
Smells do not matter, it's the game that matters!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Try saying those statements again without those Cheap Gas Masks on your faces!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Full House!
Insignificant Fourth Player
Fold.
Seriously Cheating Player
Sorry, but I've a Full Mansion!
Prince of Charming Cards
I've a complete Celestial Palace!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Oh, porridge!
Seriously Cheating Player
'Porridge', really?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
It's a cheap food.
Seriously Cheating Player
You're not very good at making up minced oaths, are you?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
That's because I'm to be graceful, in appearance, and in speech.
Seriously Cheating Player
Then what are you doing looking for a minced oath to begin with!?
Prince of Charming Cards
Can we start the next hand?
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I'm out of gold. Can I borrow more?
Insignificant Fourth Player
Why certainly!
Prince of Charming Cards
You've been borrowing quite a lot from Insignificant Fourth Player. I don't think you should fall into debt over cards.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Don't worry, I'll pay him back once I win everything!
Prince of Charming Cards
I doubt that will happen the way you expect it to. Take it from an experienced player.
Seriously Cheating Player
Can we start playing already!?
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Is it morning already!? I need to go!
Seriously Cheating Player
It's been fun playing with you!
Prince of Charming Cards
I still don't think you should borrow gold to play cards.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
One day, I'll win it all back and pay my debts! I really need to go now, bye!
Seriously Cheating Player
There she goes.
Prince of Charming Cards
We're still playing, right?
Seriously Cheating Player
Oh, definitely, once Another Fourth Player joins us!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
It's a new day and I'd like to complain that it had been a horrible night!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Why? What happened?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I lost... uh... hey, it's morning and I'm at Some Town Tavern!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
It's the afternoon and don't change the subject. You didn't lose anything important, did you?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I lost, uh... sleep! The room next door was really noisy!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
It certainly was. I had to go to Some Town Tavern, which was filled with people bragging about their Quests, just to read in peace!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Oh, so there really was a noisy room.
***
Taciturn Female Healer
We've met your Mummy. Who's the Daddy who can charm an Epic-Class character such as her?
Typical Bespectacled Mage
She doesn't like him much. While you were away adventuring, back when Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace and I were stuck at Reasonably Comfortable Inn at Some Backwater Crossroad, we talked about him.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
He kind of left Mummy after he had his way with her. That bronze daddy!
Taciturn Female Healer
Who?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Hey, bronze daddy! That'd make a swell minced oath! It has a hint of Daddy's coolness and it also takes the name of a Demigod in vain!
Taciturn Female Healer
She's changed the subject, didn't she?
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Yes, she did.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
'Bronze daddy' still sounds a little clumsy... It just needs a little tweak... 'bronze pop'!
***
Taciturn Female Healer
Explain to me something...
Typical Bespectacled Mage
If I may.
Taciturn Female Healer
What has 'bronze pop' to do with Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace's Daddy?
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Her Daddy is Heavenly Bronze Narcissus.
Taciturn Female Healer
That obnoxious self-worshiping Level-9999 Demigod of Glory!?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I'm glad we agree on something!
***
Part 5: The Evening Argument
Interlude
Adventures of Heroes Who Talk Too Much
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