Taciturn Female Healer
We're in Some Town Tavern. It's a wonderful afternoon for another Quest! I've a Quest to guard a Totally-Insignificant Molehill!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Another easy Quest!?
Taciturn Female Healer
I'm selecting the best Quest for Typical Bespectacled Mage to catch up in Levels.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
He'll catch up faster if we try tougher Quests! I want tougher opponents! I hardly earned any Experience Points from the weak opponents in the last Quest.
Typical Bespectacled Mage
In order to attempt tougher Quests, we'll need more people in the party. With Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman Out, we're undermanned.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
So we just need a temporary member or two. Who do we know who's always in search of a party?
Red-Shirted Healer
I'm looking for a party!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
No, no way! If Red-Shirted Healer joins us, we'll have two Healers again!
Red-Shirted Healer
I'm hiring a party to help me with a tough Quest that I have!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Oh, we're available for hire. I'm grateful that you deem my glorious presence worthy of your Quest. Gold upfront, please.
Typical Bespectacled Mage
I wonder if this is some trick of Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace to extort gold from Red-Shirted Healer.
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
So... the Quest that Red-Shirted Healer wants us to help with is to... keep this place quiet...
Senile Old Quest-Giver
You'll have to speak up. I can't hear you well.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
We're supposed to keep the area around your Lonely Suburban Hut quiet?
Senile Old Quest-Giver
That's right. I'd like to have a good afternoon nap.
Typical Bespectacled Mage
People are just abusing the Quest system with silly requests like this.
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Looks like a simple enough Quest. The gold is good but we're not getting any Experience Points, are we?
Red-Shirted Healer
I'm sure this is a tough Quest!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Why would you say that?
Red-Shirted Healer
The Quest Rating. There must be a reason it was rated hard.
Ogre Extreme Guitar Player
Ambush Round! We the Ogre Rock Metal Band are taking over this open space behind Lonely Suburban Hut for our jamming session!
Taciturn Female Healer
Yay, we get to kick noisy Ogres out!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Sorry, big dude. No Ambush Round for you. Your Ambush Skills failed to beat the combined Scout Skills of Taciturn Female Healer and mine.
War-painted Ogre Drummer
That should be easy for you since we don't have any Ambush Skills at all! I mean, it's not like we're the quietest people around.
Ogre Extreme Guitar Player
We should have picked up a Thief for the band!
Brutal Lead Ogre Singer
Where are we going to find an Ogre who's also a Thief? It's not like we can stroll into a tavern and hire someone called Sneaky Ogre Thief!
***
Typical Bespectacled Mage
We should use the same tactics as before. Taciturn Female Healer tanks their main fighters and you, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace, be the secondary tank, since you have the second best Defense.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Yeah, yeah, let's get this over with.
Ogre Keyboardist with Scary Makeup
I cast Fire!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Oh no, one of them is a spellcaster! Red-Shirted Healer has better Resistance than me!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
No, wait, don't hide behind Red-Shirted Healer!
War-painted Ogre Drummer
Their Healer is open! Get her! Power Attack!
Ogre Extreme Guitar Player
Taste my Extreme Power Axe!
Red-Shirted Healer
I'm Out! Again!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
We should Unlock an Achievement if we ever keep Red-Shirted Healer alive!
***
Ogre Keyboardist with Scary Makeup
I cast Fire at Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
My Hit Points are going down fast!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
I cast Heal on Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace. There, now keep shooting!
War-painted Ogre Drummer
Wait, you people have two Healers in your party? What kind of party has two Healers!?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Don't get me started on that!
Taciturn Female Healer
Actually, we have three Healers.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
You don't count as one!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
We're not getting anywhere, except up in Levels. Brutal Lead Ogre Singer on their side can cast Heal too.
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Just keep tanking.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Until when? Until we hit Level 200 or dinnertime!?
Taciturn Female Healer
Power Attack!
Ogre Extreme Guitar Player
Ouch, I'm Out!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Until that happens! Taciturn Female Healer, remove their Healer!
Taciturn Female Healer
Leave it to me!
Brutal Lead Ogre Singer
Hey, stay away from me!
***
Brutal Lead Ogre Singer
Ouch! Stop chasing me... Unless you want an Autograph.
Taciturn Female Healer
I want an Autograph!
Brutal Lead Ogre Singer
Really!?
Taciturn Female Healer
Power Attack! You're Out!
Brutal Lead Ogre Singer
...
Taciturn Female Healer
Can I still have that Autograph?
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
It took a lot longer than expected but we finally won!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
We did make a lot of noise with all the Spells and Techniques we threw around. I hope we still get paid.
Senile Old Quest-Giver
Ah, that was a good nap. Did anything happen while I was asleep?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Thank goodness for her poor hearing.
***
Typical Bespectacled Mage
I wonder if Senile Old Quest-Giver would still have had a peaceful nap if the Ogre Rock Metal Band had their jamming session.
Taciturn Female Healer
I looked at the parameters of the Quest. If we had lost the Battle, the Ogre Rock Metal Band would have their jamming session and Senile Old Quest-Giver would have woken up.
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Wait, you mean to say that the Quest has been set so that Senile Old Quest-Giver would have woken up if we had failed, the Senile Old Quest-Giver who issued the Quest in the first place so she could have her nap?
Taciturn Female Healer
Yup, that's right.
Typical Bespectacled Mage
What absurd logic is this? Wouldn't she have what she wanted anyway if she hadn't issued the Quest?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Do you really expect everyone to think rationally like you?
***
Part 3: The Easy Quest
Part 5: The Dungeon Raid
Adventures of Heroes Who Talk Too Much
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