Note: This story of Adventures of Heroes Who Talk Too Much was written with the assumption that the reader is familiar with a certain concept (specifically, Reclassification) introduced in the second Adventure, Onward to Greater Challenges. Go have a read if you have not. :)
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
I am Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman with my Big-Ass Sword. Together with my fellow companions, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace, Typical Bespectacled Mage and Taciturn Female Healer, I quest for honor and glory!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I am Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace. With my bow, I provide fire support!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
I am Typical Bespectacled Mage! With my recent acquisition of the Azure Rod of Frozen Fury and the Ivory Monocle, my Ice Spells are now superior!
Taciturn Female Healer
And I am Taciturn Female Healer. I'm still a Thief!
Tough Greater Treant
We're in the middle of a fight! Do you people have to do this now!?
***
Typical Bespectacled Mage
We should summarize the present situation.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Let's see. We're on a Quest to defeat two Greater Treants. The reason doesn't matter.
Typical Bespectacled Mage
As usual, Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman insisted on tanking the stronger of the two Greater Treants, which is Tough Greater Treant.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
That leaves Taciturn Female Healer to take on Meek Greater Treant.
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Greater Treants are Advanced Classes that have high Defense and some Critical Resistance.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
That means I won't be doing much damage with my bow. Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman's weapon isn't much help either since he hasn't upgraded it for a long time. Not that he has time to swing it since he's busy chugging down Healing Potions.
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Thus I have to back our leader with my Ice Spells to slow Tough Greater Treant's attacks. Tough Greater Treant has moderate Resistance so I'll do decent damage. However, he has Regeneration, which helps him recover from his wounds.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Things would have been better if Taciturn Female Healer had tanked Tough Greater Treant instead since she has Regeneration and better Stats.
Is that it for the summary?
Typical Bespectacled Mage
I think that summarizes our current situation perfectly.
Tough Greater Treant
Now can we please get back to our fight?
***
Meek Greater Treant
Okay, okay, I should not panic. I have good Defense and Critical Resistance. My opponent has Daggers, which have low Attack since they depend on Criticals to do damage. I should be able to hold out for a while.
Taciturn Female Healer
I note that Meek Greater Treant has good Defense and Critical Resistance! Time to bring out the old Steel Battle Axe!
Meek Greater Treant
Eek! Using an Axe against a tree like me is too unfair!
***
Meek Greater Treant
Eek! Taciturn Female Healer's attacks are too strong! My Hit Points are going down too fast! Why, oh, why did I not stock Healing Potions?
Tough Greater Treant
Because you have Regeneration, idiot!
***
Meek Greater Treant
Well, I'll be...
Taciturn Female Healer
Didn't see that coming.
Meek Greater Treant
You scored a Critical with an Axe.
Taciturn Female Healer
Against a target with Critical Resistance too.
Meek Greater Treant
That was a really lucky hit.
Taciturn Female Healer
Why, thank you. That means that you're Out, though.
***
Meek Greater Treant
It's nice of you to accompany me while I'm Out.
Taciturn Female Healer
It's no problem.
Meek Greater Treant
Are you sure your teammates don't need your help?
Taciturn Female Healer
Hey, do you people need my help?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
No, we got this!
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
In this battle of attrition, we shall eventually prevail!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
That is, if we don't run out of Healing Potions first. How many Cases of Healing Potion have you?
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
It is by my estimate that I have at the very least 20 Cases of Healing Potion in reserve.
Tough Greater Treant
You have that many!?
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
It would be no trouble for me to pause and accurately enumerate my supplies.
Tough Greater Treant
No, no! Please don't stop the fight to count!
***
Meek Greater Treant
With your help, your team would end this fight quickly. Why don't they want your help?
Taciturn Female Healer
They want the Experience Points. Both sides are about equal so they'd get a lot of Experience Points fighting each other, especially since it looks like the fight will take a long time.
Meek Greater Treant
You don't mind missing out on the Experience Points, do you?
Taciturn Female Healer
Ah, no. They need the Experience Points more than I do anyway.
Meek Greater Treant
Say, can I trade some of my Green Tea Cake for one of your Roast Beef Sandwiches?
Taciturn Female Healer
Oh, sure.
***
Meek Greater Treant
Do you think they'll be done by the time we finish eating lunch?
Taciturn Female Healer
I don't think so.
Meek Greater Treant
It sucks being Out. It must be equally frustrating for you not to do anything.
Taciturn Female Healer
That's right. I've to stay here until the end to score a Win for the battle. We could play Heroes TCG while waiting.
Meek Greater Treant
Oh sure, let me get my smartphone out.
***
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Though my struggle is valiant, I grieve for the fact that I have few opportunities to swing my Big-Ass Sword and gain Experience Points!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
You know, if we had a Healer that could actually Heal, you would earn a lot more Experience Points.
Meek Greater Treant
Wait, wait. Taciturn Female Healer, you can't Heal? Aren't you a Healer?
Taciturn Female Healer
If I can Heal, I would be out there gaining Experience Points. But I can't since I didn't buy any Heal Spells while I was a Healer some time ago.
Meek Greater Treant
You must have invested your Skill Points into Regeneration then. That's why you recover from wounds so easily during our fight.
Taciturn Female Healer
So that I can fight more!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Taciturn Female Healer, I just wish you'd put some Skill Points into Heal Spells instead!
Tough Greater Treant
Hey, pay attention to our fight, will you?
***
Tough Greater Treant
Hah, a Critical from me! Your Hit Points are now so low that even if you drink a Healing Potion, you won't have enough Hit Points to take another hit!
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Being down to my last breath is alike the crises faced by heroes in tales of legends! Mighty indeed must my struggle be to best this dire situation in order to snatch the greatest glory from the indomitable jaws of defeat!
Tough Greater Treant
Is he... actually enjoying his present situation?
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Yes, it pains me to admit. My advice is to ignore him and just get on with the fight.
***
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Thus, in order to best this dire situation-
Tough Greater Treant
You've used 'best' with your 'dire situation' already.
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
-I must take action with a desperate Power Attack with all my remaining strength!
Tough Greater Treant
Well, I'll be...
Typical Bespectacled Mage
I certainly didn't see that coming.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
A Critical! Tough Greater Treant is Out!
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Thus, have I pulled myself out of the deep pit of hopelessness in order to claim a great victory and a grand reward of Experience Points! Glorious indeed is my reward for I have gained two Levels, with which I-
Tough Greater Treant
Well, this Battle is over. I don't have to listen to the rest of him, do I?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
You're lucky! Some of us have to accompany him back to town!
***
Part 2: The Impending Trouble
Adventures of Heroes Who Talk Too Much
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