Typical Bespectacled Mage
Good afternoon, sleepyhead.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Afternoon. How did your day go yesterday?
Typical Bespectacled Mage
We decided to Raid a Dungeon.
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
It seemed an excellent idea at the time to Raid the Eeriely Dark Garden and by good fortune, Red-Shirted Healer was available and in search of a party!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Wasn't she Out?
Typical Bespectacled Mage
She paid for her Resurrect, again.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
This girl is very rich. I should really marry her. Anyway, did that Raid go any better?
Taciturn Female Healer
Nope. She didn't even reach the first Mid-Boss.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
'First' Mid-Boss?
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
We had struggled mightily and prevailed against two Mid-Bosses and the Dungeon Boss!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Sounds like you people had fun. Loot?
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Check out my new Azure Rod of Frozen Fury! It boosts the effectiveness of Ice Spells! It even has two Pluses on it! I'll be throwing Ice Spells for a while!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Your eyes are sparkling, literally.
***
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Your bonding session with Mummy didn't go well?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I didn't get any Experience Points! Mummy finished everything with one shot!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
As expected.
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I want some lunch. Hand over some party funds for food.
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Certainly, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
You keep asking for gold to buy food. What about your personal funds?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Oh, look at the time! We should start a Quest and get going!
Taciturn Female Healer
I've a Quest that pays gold! As a bonus, we'll also get a Horned Helm!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Okay, let's go!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Wait, you're actually interested in a Quest with a simple Horned Helm as a reward? And what about your food?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
No time to eat, we need to be earning! I'll just buy a couple of that yummy roast beef sandwiches and some juice for later!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I think I'm going to be sick. This place stinks!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Stop whining and keep walking.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Let's hurry up and finish the Quest already!
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
It is but a part of the Quest to search Absolutely Disgusting Sewers for our quarry, Dreaded Spitting Slug! Great indeed is the glory of hunting an Advanced-class monster! And at the climax of our Quest, a heroic battle awaits us!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Try saying that again without that Cheap Gas Mask on your face!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I think I'm sick.
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Just keep walking.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Absolutely Disgusting Sewers is beyond disgusting! It reeks! And I'm hungry!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
You've those sandwiches.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Yes, but I can't enjoy them with this stench!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
We've been searching for so long already...
Typical Bespectacled Mage
It's only been five minutes.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
And I can't stand the smell already, and my stomach's growling already...
Typical Bespectacled Mage
You should've eaten something before we left.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Where is Dreaded Spitting Slug already? I want to beat it and get out of here already...
Dreaded Spitting Slug
Ambush Round!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Oh no, Dreaded Spitting Slug is attacking from the back! Someone stand between it and me!
Dreaded Spitting Slug
Sorry to interrupt, but I'm a 'he'.
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Common Slugs do assail us from the front! It is right that the leader should be at the front, facing the bulk of the opposing force!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
It is also right that the leader should face the opposing leader in a direct struggle for supremacy! That is, you should be facing their leader, Dreaded Spitting Slug!
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
That is indeed true! I shall move to engage Dreaded Spitting Slug at the rear in direct combat!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
I've seen her convince him to do things her way many times and I still don't get how she gets him to listen.
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
It's a gift.
***
Common Slug #1
Their leader has gone to face our boss at the back
Common Slug #2
We're left with a Thief dual-wielding Daggers.
Common Slug #1
She's a Thief, right?
Common Slug #3
I don't like the way that Thief is smiling!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I think I can leave the Common Slugs to Taciturn Female Healer. That leaves me free to concentrate on Dreaded Spitting Slug, who is worth more Experience Points.
Dreaded Spitting Slug
I attack at range with my Stinking Spittle!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Ow, the Stinking Spittle hit me! Yuck! Gross! It's slimy and it's sticky and it smells and, oh oh, I'm Stunned!
***
Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
I engage the leader of the opposition, Dreaded Spitting Slug, in direct combat! Dreaded Spitting Slug is now unable to use any range attacks to harass my companions!
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Next time, do that before it spits at me!
Dreaded Spitting Slug
I told you, I'm a 'he'!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Dreaded Spitting Slug is fighting our fearless leader. The Common Slugs are engaged with Taciturn Female Healer in combat. It's a rare event that I've no one chasing me...
It's so unfair that I'm Stunned and can't shoot anything! Dread Spitting Slug is just right there and I want to shoot it and gain Experience Points!
Dreaded Spitting Slug
I am a 'he'! Seriously, can't you refer to me as 'him' and just say 'I want to shoot him'!?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I think I'll use my time to think of better minced oaths.
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Rotten apples!
Sour grapes!
Hmm... no, no. Too much food. Must be the smell.
Foul birdies...
Damn it, this sewer stinks! And this slime is totally gross!
Stinky sewage!
Stinky slime!
Slimy yuckiness!
Excrement on a plate!
Breeding excrement!
Typical Bespectacled Mage
Will you shut that potty mouth over there!?
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
And, just my luck, they defeated Dreaded Spitting Slug and the Common Slugs before I had recovered from my Stun. Not that I can concentrate with all this smell!
I really want to get out of here! I'm hungry and I need a shower!
***
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I want my sandwiches, but I should rid myself of the smell first. So it's a quick dash to the Obligatory Town Inn for a shower.
And damn it, the slime of Dreaded Spitting Slug is just impossible to get rid of! It's sticky and it's in my hair and though I shampooed my hair twice, it still smells! I want to wash it some more but I'm hungry so I dig into the roast beef sandwiches. The sandwiches were yummy with layers of juicy meat and crunchy salad with lots of gravy. Along with the sandwiches, I have refreshing orange juice, sweet with a tinge of sourness. Cleaning my Equipment after that was easy.
Having satisfied my needs, I rush back to my party members and find that Taciturn Female Healer still has that satisfied grin on her face. In fact, everyone else still smells faintly of sewage as if they had done nothing to clean themselves. It's highly unlikely that they had patiently waited for my return which leads to one conclusion:
You people went on another Quest without me!?
Typical Bespectacled Mage
You cleaned yourself and fed your hunger and did all that running without a pause in your speech?
Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Don't change the subject!
***
Part 2: The Night's Indiscretion
Part 4: The Quest Reward
Adventures of Heroes Who Talk Too Much
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