Thursday, April 4, 2013

Town Adventures, Part 6: The Mummy

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
A wonderful morning greets us after a deservedly restful night for we have completed our Quest at the Very Ordinary Garden! Now may we advance forward in search of our next challenge!

Taciturn Female Healer
I've a list of Quests that we may start on! I've also a list of Dungeons in the area!

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Excellent, Taciturn Female Healer! We shall choose one and set forth to glory!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Yes, yes, but we should wait for our sleepyhead to wake up first.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Morning, everyone!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
It's noon.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Really? Then I'm just in time for lunch! Let's see, what shall I... Hey, why's Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman's Hit Points less than full?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Uh... he had a duel with a rival...

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
And you're short of a few Mana Points!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
I did cast a few spells, you know, to Listen on a few things...

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
And Taciturn Female Healer...

Typical Bespectacled Mage
She has full Hit Points!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
And she also has that satisfied grin she puts on whenever she's had a good fight! You guys went on a Quest without me this morning, didn't you!?

***

Typical Bespectacled Mage
It was just a small Quest... look, we still have others available...

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I was thinking, we're just randomly accepting Quests. Our party lacks direction.

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Is my esteemed companion, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace, about to suggest that we embark on an Epic Quest for a noteworthy accomplishment?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Yes! We need direction, something to aim for!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
So... being the richest lady isn't your goal?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I want something more tangible, like assembling a full set of Diamondsilk clothing!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
... You do know that the Diamondsilk Set Bonus is mainly Charisma, don't you?

***

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
My eyes have just observed the entry of high-Level heroes! It is my hope that someday, my fame shall match theirs!

Diamondback Titanic Knight
I just don't get why you've to use my name in yours!

Slayer of Diamondback Titanic Knight
You're just sore that I beat you that time!

Diamondback Titanic Knight
Can't you pick a name that better describes you?

Slayer of Diamondback Titanic Knight
This name suits me fine. After all, I did defeat the famed Diamondback Titanic Knight in a duel!

Diamondback Titanic Knight
You're just asking for a rematch!

Slayer of Diamondback Titanic Knight
Bring it, anytime... but please make it after lunch.

Ruby-Eyed Candle of the Silver Flame
Knock it off, you two! We're on the same team today!

Scarlet-Wrapped Maiden of the Burning Arrow
I wish I knew what madness drove you to recruit these two together.

Ruby-Eyed Candle of the Silver Flame
They were on a two-for-the-price-of-one offer.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
MUMMY!!

***

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
Has Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace perceived danger where I have not?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
No. She cried, 'MUMMY!!', without the tilde.

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
If that is indeed the situation, then all is indeed well.

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Mummy!

Diamondback Titanic Knight
Oh great, we can't go anywhere without groupies jumping us! This one's downright delusional and thinks you're her mother or something!

Scarlet-Wrapped Maiden of the Burning Arrow
This maiden is indeed my offspring, the apple of my eye.

Diamondback Titanic Knight
...

Slayer of Diamondback Titanic Knight
Awkward...

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I just received Mummy's message yesterday and now, Mummy's here in That Other Town!

Scarlet-Wrapped Maiden of the Burning Arrow
It was a last-minute arrangement, my child. An opportunity within the area allowed me the chance to meet with you here.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
So, what are you in town for?

Scarlet-Wrapped Maiden of the Burning Arrow
A high-Level Dungeon suited to my abilities has just opened in the area. It seemed good to me that I would take a look. It has been too long a time since I was in a Raid.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Ooh, can you take me along? I can use the Experience Points!

Scarlet-Wrapped Maiden of the Burning Arrow
My child, it is too soon for you to face Horror Beyond Your Imagination.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Horror beyond my imagination!?

Scarlet-Wrapped Maiden of the Burning Arrow
No, my child. I speak of Horror Beyond Your Imagination, the Dungeon Boss. If you face it as you are now without experience or protection, your dreams at night will be filled with nightmare reality. There are greater dangers in this world than that which you know of!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Err... I think I like my beauty sleep...

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Okay, people, I've spoken to Mummy and we've an Epic Quest now! Mummy is looking for an S-Rank Deadly-Eye Mummy Class Kit!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
If I'm not mistaken, Scarlet-Wrapped Maiden of the Burning Arrow is already a Deadly-Eye Mummy.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
She's a B-Rank Deadly-Eye Mummy. Since she qualifies for S-Rank, she's decided to skip the A-Rank and go straight up there.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Do you know where we may find this Class Kit?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I don't know.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Have you any idea if it's in a Dungeon or somewhere else?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
I don't know.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Have you any clues or hints at all?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
All I know is that it's in the area, according to a rumor.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
You're not sure if it even exists, are you?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
That's right!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
How are we going to find this Class Kit that may not exist!?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
We'll just Raid Dungeons and win loot until we find one!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
So... we're just doing what we've always been doing?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
At least we have something to aim for!

***

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
By the way, where's Taciturn Female Healer?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
She stepped outside earlier to get details on another Dungeon to add to her list. Ah, there she is now!

Taciturn Female Healer
I've returned with my updated list of Dungeons! Here, I'll mail it to your smartphones!

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Okay, let's look at Taciturn Female Healer's list of Dungeons. First, we have... Battle-Scarred Land where Heavenly Blue-Flamed Sword Saint Cleaved the Earthed Nightmare with his Lordly Berserker Blade...

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
That's the Dungeon Mummy and her party will Raid later.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
... I motion we skip to the middle of the list.

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
Seconded.

***

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
We have acquired for ourselves an Epic Quest on which to embark, giving us a goal with which to set our sights on in our toil and struggle to better ourselves!

Taciturn Female Healer
We've an Epic Quest now?

Typical Bespectacled Mage
Yes, Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace accepted one on our behalf while you were away.

Taciturn Female Healer
Hey, I see high-Level heroes!

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
One of them is Mummy and she gave me an Epic Quest to find her an S-Rank Deadly-Eye Mummy Class Kit.

Taciturn Female Healer
Oh, you mean something like this S-Rank Deadly-Eye Mummy Class Kit? I looted it in the Quest in Absolutely Disgusting Sewers the other day with Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman and Red-Shirted Healer. Do you know how hard it is to find a buyer for an S-Rank Deadly-Eye Mummy Class Kit since there are not many people who can meet its requirements?

Gorgeous Lady Archer of Epic Grace
...

Cliched Spikey-Haired Swordsman
This is an ignoble end to a worthy Epic Quest.

Typical Bespectacled Mage
We need another Epic Quest.

***

Part 5: The Shopping
Interlude

Adventures of Heroes Who Talk Too Much

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